With our agency, we are matched based on decisions we make. We are asked to make decisions on ethnicity, cognitive differences in birth parents, prenatal care, smoking, drug and alcohol exposure, medical conditions, birth father situation, birth parent history, and birth parent relationship-amount of openness. Based on what we decide together, if an expectant mother’s/family’s situation matches what we are open to, she is shown our profile book or online profile and given the opportunity to meet us. If she sees our profile book, thinks we are a good fit and would like to make an adoption plan, then we would be officially matched at that point. Once the baby is born and the expectant mother still wants to place her child for adoption, then we would be placed with that child and able to bring the baby home. With both Adeline & Charlotte, we met them in the hospital and were both matched and placed within a few days after they were born.
When you ask most expectant mothers if they want a boy or girl most will reply that they will be happy with either one as long as the baby is healthy…but what happens when you get somewhat of a decision in that?
Let me tell you, it is very difficult, especially being honest with ourselves and what we can realistically take on given our own set of circumstances. It’s not an easy thing, to make these decisions together-to stay on the same page throughout- and to make these decisions realistically yet without fear. Adding a new baby to the family is a big adjustment, let alone getting the opportunity to have an opinion and deal with both the positive and negative consequences of those decisions.
These decisions get harder and harder each time we have gone through this process. At the beginning of our third adoption journey, we took time to pray and really think about what situations we are open to this time around. Having two girls already, they are our top priority. This isn’t just a cute baby we will have for a few months, this is a lifelong journey, a person that will be a part of our family forever. We had to have some hard conversations about what situations would work for us in this season already parenting two little girls and our circumstances around my health. It’s a lot to take on having to make all of these decisions ahead of time.
So, we left a lot of specifications open
in that our agency can call us and explain the situation, give us time to really consider and pray, and make the decision that way. If we feel we want to move forward, our profile book will be shown to that expectant mother. We feel that it’s nearly impossible to make a decision ahead of time, that each case and birth family is so incredibly unique and different and we want to be open to as much as we possibly can while at the same time have wisdom to protect the family that we already have now.
Adoption is the best and only way to build our family and we want to our best to do so with courage, wisdom, and a lot of grace. We adore our girls and their stories and know that if we would have been fearful of certain situations, we wouldn’t have the family we have now. Please pray for us, that we would have clarity, that we would have wisdom, and that we would both be on the same page as we navigate the matching process. We are looking forward to the day that we can announce we’ve been matched-please pray that happens soon. We are so excited to welcome the next little one into our family and be a family of 5!