the wait

One single sentence has the ability to change my entire day.


“Your profile has been shown to an expectant parent.”


Time feels slow, my heart pounding in my chest. The computer screen stares back at me. The past month feels like the craziest roller coaster ride. Our profile was shown 3 times in one week. ONE WEEK. Excitement, fear, hope rushes in. Is this it? Should I get my hopes up? How do I stay focused on the present when I could be a mom of two any minute? All the what if’s running through my head, all the days, months, years of waiting pulling at me. A year of waiting has passed. It’s been 14 months to be exact. In order to help us feel more involved in our wait, as of January 2019 our agency now requires that we be notified when we our profile book is shown. During our first adoption journey, we waited for 15 months and we have no idea how many times we were shown.  


Now let me backup and explain. When the paperwork was finished, the home study done, when we were approved to be put on the waiting list, we had to make a profile book (along with 9 copies) about our family. Inside are our favorite photos, a little about who we are, what we love to do, and what our life looks like. Basically a snapshot of who we are as a family. When an expectant parent is choosing a family, they are shown about 5 profile books from families that match their situation to help them make their decision. Out of the 5 families, they may choose to meet a few different families, choose one right away, or decide to parent their baby. Once an expectant parent views our profile book, we get a notification email from our agency.


After we get that notification email from our agency, we wait, wait, and wait some more. Because we were never notified before, it is all new to us. It is the hardest thing to be patient and hope that this might be it. Feeling so excited that we’ve been shown, waiting hours, days, still hoping, slowly letting go and waiting for the next email. Refreshing my email as often as I get the chance, trying my best to know that I am not in control no matter how many times I hit the circle arrow button.


So, what happens next? We do our best ride this crazy roller coaster- to wait well, to enjoy our time as a family of 3 and to keep fundraising with Lifesong for Orphans! So far, we have not received a phone call that we have been matched. We may be matched months before birth or after the birth mom is at the hospital (like Adeline’s adoption). Every story is unique. Adoption is by far the hardest, longest, most up and down journey I’ve been on but from past experience I know it is COMPLETELY worth it! We can’t wait to get a notification email plus THE call soon! Thank you for keeping us in your prayers, friends!